Best archer lines

Best archer lines DEFAULT

Have you been going through Archer withdrawal since Vice ended back in April? Have you found yourself binge watching old episodes on Netflix with your friends and family in anticipation for the approaching sixth season in January? We sure have. To help you fight the shakes, I’ve gathered all of the Archer quotes you should be using every day to stave off any further withdrawals…

“I swear to god I had something for this.” — Archer

Everyday use: When you want to say something clever but can’t think of anything.

“You’re not my supervisor!” — Cheryl

Everyday use: Whenever you don’t want to do something.

“Holy sh*tsnacks!” — Pam

Everyday use: Any and all moments of surprise.

“Phrasing.” — Archer

Everyday use: When you’re out to dinner with your family.

“Yup.” — Lana

Everyday use: When you know you’re in the right.

“That’s how you get ants.” — Various

Everyday use: When your roommates do just about anything.

“Boop.” — Archer

Everyday use: When someone is just being so darned cute.

“I’m Pacman Jones!” — Pam

Everyday use: When you’re making it rain.

“Read a book.” — Archer

Everyday use: Whenever others don’t get your references.

“Sploosh!” — Various

Everyday use: When something is getting you all hot.

“Rampage!” — Archer

Everyday use: Instead of whatever you currently use to pump yourself up.

“You’re not my friend, you’re a Decepticon!” — Pam

Everyday use: When you’ve been betrayed.

“Power blackout.” — Archer

Everyday use: After you’ve done some heavy day drinking.

“Just the tip.” — Archer

Everyday use: When you’re splitting the check.

“Do you not?” — Archer

Everyday use: When someone confronts your guilty pleasures.

“Idiots doing idiot things, because they’re idiots.” — Archer

Everyday use: When everyone else is against you.

“Can’t or won’t?” — Archer

Everyday use: When you need some clarification.

“Look at his tufted ears!” — Archer

Everyday use: Anytime you see an adorable animal.

“The cumulative hangover will kill me.” — Archer

Everyday use: I’ll leave this up to you.

“Danger Zone!” — Archer

Everyday use: Any time, any place.


Phrasing? 15 Best Archer Quotes You Need To Know

Best Archer Quotes About Awesomeness

Enjoy 15 best Archer quotes. These funny Archer quotes come with awesome videos. They include Sterling Archer phrasing compilation video that will leave you on the floor laughing. You will love these quotes from the animated FX television series Archer.

1. “You killed a black astronaut, Cyril! That’s like killing a unicorn!”

2. (Explaining to Cyborg Katya what she is feeling as he comforts her) “Sorry, that’s just a, uh, sympathy boner.”

3. “Danger zone!”

4. “Rampage!”

5. Archer: “Oh my God! You killed a hooker!” Cyril: “Call girl! She was a…” Archer: “No Cyril, when they’re dead, they’re just hookers!”

6. “Idiots doing idiot things, because they’re idiots.”

7. “Power blackout.”

8. Archer Quotes – Phrasing Compilation

9. “I’m scared if I stop all at once, the cumulative hangover will literally kill me.”

10. “I’m not saying I invented the turtleneck, but I was the first person to realise its potential as a tactical garment. The tactical turtleneck! The… tactleneck.”

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Sterling Archer Quotes About Phrasing

11. (On meeting his hero Burt Reynolds) “I can’t hear you over the sound of my giant, throbbing erection!”

12. “Those cannot be your only shoes. What am I saying? It’s Russia. People probably come from miles around just to get their picture taken in those.”

13. (As he throws all of Woodhouse’s shoes off the balcony) “Because I told you to buy lemon curd, Woodhouse. Now what am I going to spread on my toast? Your tears?”

14. (On why he’s so scared of crocodiles) “Gee, I don’t know. Maybe deep down I’m afraid of any apex predator that lived through the K-T extinction. Physically unchanged for a hundred million years, because it’s the perfect killing machine. A half ton of cold-blooded fury, the bite force of 20,000 Newtons, and stomach acid so strong it can dissolve bones and hoofs.”

15. “For I am a sinner in the hands of an angry God. Bloody Mary, full of vodka, blessed are you among cocktails. Pray for me now and at the hour of my death, which I hope is soon. Amen.”

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Malory Archer Funny Quotes

Want more awesome quotes?

Then check out 17 Big Lebowski Quotes That Will Make You Laugh. Alternatively, you may enjoy some funny Raising Arizona Quotes

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Lana Kane:
Screw you Archer! Sullen wench?

Sterling Archer:
Come on Lana, relax. I had to make it look good!

Lana Kane:
You had to make it look good?

Sterling Archer:
And also annoy you.

Lana Kane:
Walther PPK. Chamber 32 ACP. What's the capacity?

Sterling Archer:
8 rounds?

Lana Kane:
Plus one in the chamber for a total of nine.

Sterling Archer:
OK thanks Rain Man, your point?

Lana Kane:
Malory's clip was empty but she claims she only fired three rounds.

Sterling Archer:
Whoa, wait a minute, you're saying mother lured Mascalzone up to her apartment, squeezed him into a six foot man rubber, calls us, then pulls a gun on him? That would be a crock of sh*t because that would mean she called the cops on herself.

Lana Kane:
Knowing they would not come back after they searched the apartment which was full of people and spotless.

Sterling Archer:
Oh my god! Do the math Rain Man! The wall was shot three times, and Mascalzone was shot five. For a total of - wait for it - 8.

Lana Kane:
Plus the one in her arm.

Sterling Archer:
[laughs] So wait a minute? Mother shot herself? Oh my god! Which would mean that mother has been banging this guy once a week for the last 35 years and the whole time she's been holding a grudge! Holy sh*t - she killed him.

Lana Kane:
And got us to dispose of the body.

Sterling Archer:
But why?

Lana Kane:
Who knows? It's Malory. You really want to know why she killed a guy?

Malory Archer:
[flashback - Malory removes her trenchcoat] Honey, you still got it!

Sterling Archer:
So much of this I never want to know the answer to. By the way do you want to go for a slice? [thinks about it] God what is with me and Italian lately?


These Archer Quotes Will Send You Into The Danger Zone

Archer is back for another round of Bloody Mary-soaked RAAAAMPAGE—starting Thursday, January 8 at 10pm on FX. Just try to hide the sound of your giant, throbbing erection while reading these delicious quips from Sterling himself.

Not since Homer Simpson has a two-dimensional cartoon man been so quotable. Archer does to spies what James Bond did to...also spies—but with way more senseless murder, heavy drinking, and womanizing. Actually it may be around the same amount.

Whether he's teaching us how to poach a GOD DAMN! egg or trying to show Lana exactly where the danger zone is, Sterling Archer is full of insight, ever-lasting wisdom, and vodka. 

1. "Karate? The Dane Cook of martial arts?"


2. “For I am a sinner in the hands of an angry God. Bloody Mary, full of vodka, blessed are you among cocktails. Pray for me now and at the hour of my death, which I hope is soon. Amen.”

3. "Can I offer you a drink? How about this expensive prostitute?"

Thrillist TV

4. “I'm scared if I stop all at once, the cumulative hangover will literally kill me." 

5. "Because how hard is it to poach a god damn egg properly? Seriously, that's like eggs 101, Woodhouse."

6. "I mean, I didn't invent the turtleneck, Lana, but I was the first to recognize its potential as a tactical garment. The tactical turtleneck, Lana. The...tactleneck!"

7. "I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of my giant throbbing erection." 

8. “Oh, I’m sorry. I guess I skipped the Emily Post chapter on how to introduce your mother to a hooker.”

9. "You know what's dangerous? Your obsession with me. Seriously, Lana, call Kenny Loggins, 'cause you're in the danger zone."

10. “You killed a black astronaut, Cyril! That’s like killing a unicorn!”

11. "You want ants? 'Cause this is how we get ants."

12. "Well, excuse me, Lana. It's a rampage."

click to play video

Jeremy Glass is the Vice editor for Supercompressor and his favorite running joke in Archer are his Seamus and Dicky tattoos.

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Lines best archer

Sanka himself gave in to his ass with pleasure and growled and growled with delight. It was impossible not to enjoy such an idyll. It took only a few minutes, as I felt that Sanka's body tensed, and he spread his legs even wider.

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If there were a hut, we would be with you. - he repeated his thought. - No, I've had enough, - said Vitya. - Now home, rather home, - and quickened his steps.

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